I will stop my rant after this last statement.  My son came home sick, sunburned, and with a lovely red rash.  Some things never change!

It is now 4 pm on Monday. Memorial day.  I did let my son go camping so that I would never have to hear that I didn’t. He wasn’t too thrilled, but I did my best to convince him to go. The thought of missing 3 karate classes, 3 barbecues, and the parade was upsetting to him.  Silly me convinced him theat since he hasn’t seen his father in quite a while ( his own doing as usual ) that he should go and he would have a wonderful time.  He decided he would go because he wants new Pokemon Cards that  I refuse to buy him, and by putting a guilt trip on Dad his father buys him whatever he wants.  Am I happy about it?  Right now I would rather put pepper in my eye than make that decision again.  KOA finally decided to tell me that he wouldn’t be bringing him home until 4 pm today.  I specifically told him that it was unacceptale and he needed to be home by 2 pm because we have to be somewhere Monday afternoon.

Fast forward to NOW.  Once again, it is 4pm on Monday. I received one phone call from my son all weekend.  Yesterday at 12 noon he called to say hi, he was chewing gum and he would see me on Monday.  ( I do not allow him to chew gum ) His father never got on the phone to say a word. When he’s with wife #4 he barely speaks to me.  When he picks up and drops my son off alone he gets out of the car and rambles on and on.  I realized at 12 noon today that I still hadn’t heard from them. I thought that I would wait and see when I would get a call telling me that they were almost here. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, 12, 12:30, 1:00, 1:30, 2:00 ( the time I told him he needed to have my son home by ), 2:30, 3:00. Still no call. At 3:15 i called him and asked where he was. He said they were getting to the GW Bridge.  I can’t even explain the rush of anger I felt just then. Did he think I was kidding when I said 2 pm? Apparently he did. I told him that he was crazy, and I’m so angry that I could spit ( too bad  I don’t know how to ).  Right now I wish I did. The GW Bridge is about 90 minutes from here.  On Memorial day it is about 3 hours from here!!!! I proceeded to explain to him notsonicely that I am sick and tired of him just doing whatever he feels like doing. This is what he does al the time. His visitation is every other weekend from Friday at 5 to Sunday at 6. He NEVER picks him up on Fridays, and on Saturday morning he’ll call around 10am to say he’s coming by 12 or 1pm. Either way he’s never remotely on time.  He’s past due over 360 days on money that he owes me yet he can afford a camping trip and a christening for his 4th kid.  I turned down several full time summer jobs beacuse after I lay out the money for my son’s summer camp he is required by law to reimburse me within 10 days. He never does. He still owes me money due on 1/1/07.  He should have never had a 4th child if he couldn’t afford one. ( The method to his madness to be discussed at another time. ) It’s bad enough that my son goes from a 1600 sq. ft. home in The Hamptons to a 2 bedroom apartment in Queens occupied by my ex, his wife, her mother, and her brother. Her cousin was living there also until recently.   The only one with a job is the KOA himself.  He is supporting all of these people and I have to whistle Dixie until the cows come home to get the money he owes me.

Am I surprised that he’s late? Am I surprised that he didn’t bother to have the decency to call and tell me he was late? Am I surprised that after I lost it and hung up on him he called me back with another yet stuttering failed attempt to make excuses? No I’m not. Happens every time! Only this time he gets no points for consistency, and I will be filing a violation in court this week for all the money he owes me, and that he took my son out of NY State without my permission ( Oh! Sorry! He forgot to mention to me that he was taking my son to PA.) Makes you feel safe with cops like him around, doesn’t it?

Did I mention that he was the King of Assholes? When Albert Einstein said ” Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results” was he talking about me? Did he know that as I speak to my ex my mantra is ” I cannot have a normal intelligent conversation with someone who is not normal or intelligent” ? Why do I continue to try and rationalize with my ex-husband? Do I really think that one day he will step up to the plate, grow a set of balls at least half the size of mine and do right by his children? Not unless Satan needs to borrow my mink!   I do always try and give everyone the opportunity to do the right thing before I blast them though.  I’m one of those people who is completely OCD about doing things right the first time so I have no regrets and never have to waste my precious time doing them over again. I was married to my exact polar opposite.  My ex is now married to his 4th wife and they now have his 4th child.  My son is his 3rd child and other than the new one the only one of his kids he keeps in touch with.  He now has 3 daughters and one son.  I honestly believe that the only reason he bothers with my son is because he is his only SON.  Obviously his ability to communicate with anyone on any level minus a badge & a gun leaves much to be desired.  To an outsider he is the nicest guy in the world, live with him and it’s a different story.  Typical alcoholic behavior.  Did I mention he’s a member of the NYPD? Surprised? I didn’t think so. After not bothering with my son for 2.5 years he finally decided to see him. This came about after my begging and pleading for him to e a part of our son’s life.  Hindsight being 20/20 I realized that his efforts to see my son were probably due to the fact that his new wife (  a fencejumping 25 year old ) probably wanted children.  Ding! Ding! Ding! I was right! Of course he had to prove to her that he is such a good father ( for no other purpose than entertainment ask his other 2 daughters about that).  Week after week would go by and no word from him at all.  Finally, I get a message last night that he wants to pick my son up Friday night ( his visitation states that but he usuaslly waits to get him on Saturday) .  I of course do not call him back since the last 2 times I tried to call him there was no option to “press 1 for english” and I could not understand the woman who answered his cell phone.  I thought I had accidentally pressed 2 for Spanish so just for giggles I tried it again. Nope! There were no options for english, so I never called him again.  He called me again tonight and said that he had to pick him up tomorrow because they were going camping. I told him Friday was our late night since we have karate and them we need to go visit my Dad in rehab ( physical rehab-not Lohan rehab) and we don’t get home until after 8.  Of course this answer prompted the whining. “Oh, I haven’t seen him in a long time, I wanted to take him camping like last year ( which means he will bring him home sick as he always does), everyone is so good to him” BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!  First of all, he wants to take him CAMPING? HELLO? McFly? My son is about as thrilled with the thought of camping as I am. We live in The Hamptons, my son is more than likely still suffering from the culture shock of last year’s  impromptu camping trip.  ”Everyone” is the Fencejumper, sister #3,  my convicted felon ex-brother in law, his psycho bitch wife and their spawn who my son is not a big fan of.  His family takes the fun out of dysfunctional.  I said it would be ok, ( while gritting my teeth ) as long as he was home on time on Sunday being that if I let him go he would be missing all the festivities that we already had planned for this weekend.  That was when he told me he wasn’t coming home until Monday afternoon. Gee, when was he going to spring that on me?  Sunday night at 8 when I would already be on my way to the SH Police Station to report my son missing after he wasn’t home at 6 like he was supposed to be? It’s really difficult for me to hold my tongue (ok, let’s make that a living miracle) .  It never ceases to amaze me that he just thinks that he can pop in and of my son’s life whenever he feels like it.  Thank God the child is pretty resilient to the nonsense that he has to deal with when he goes to his Dad’s. If anything it makes him appreciate me and the life we have a little more than he did before. Will I ultimately let him go? I’m not sure yet. We’ll see which side of the bed I wake up on tomorrow. Maybe yes, maybe no. I’ll keep you posted, I’m sure I’ll have an earful.

Until then I hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, and if you get bored, come on out to The Hamptons! Never a dull moment here!

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl  ’Will you marry

me?’ The girl said:

’NO!’

And the girl lived happily ever after and went

shopping, dancing, camping,

drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had

to cook, did whatever

the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat,

traveled more, had many

lovers, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water

to herself. She went to

the theater, never watched sports, never wore

friggin’ lacy lingerie that

went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried

or yelled, felt and

looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all

the time.

The End